I have a confession to make: I don't like football. I will probably be the only sentient being in the state of Washington not watching the Seahawks playoff game this weekend. I do not own a jersey, I have not invested in any face paint, I could not name a single player on the team.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that a local team is doing well and I see why everyone's gone all 12th Man, but I just don't get football. It's quite possible that it's a birth defect as the rest of my family are all fans: my brothers who played in high school, my mother and sister, even my father in the nursing home who sometimes doesn't even know his own name. I've tried watching. I sat and looked at the TV screen and tried to connect everyone's cheers or jeers to what just happened on the field. It's clear, however, that I lack the enzyme/chromosome/gene that can distinguish a tight end from a safety, or even care what a first down is. (I just had to Google "football terminology" to get that much--didn't bother to read the definitions.)
Just. Not. Interested.
I'm not anti-football--I don't care about all sports equally. The only events I enjoy watching are the ones that my kids are in, like literally suited up and on the field. My son played basketball for many years and I went to all his games, even learning (most of) the rules. Now that he's strictly soccer, I don't have the patience to watch basketball, even if other kids I know are playing. I don't really even like going to to my daughter's school track meets, but that's mostly because they're so darn long . She's usually in the first event and then the second to last, three hours later, as I sit in the cold and don't get dinner made or retain feeling in my toes. I will occasionally attend professional baseball if there's beer and hot dogs involved, but definitely not football, not even with margaritas and nachos on the side.
So come Sunday I will be sitting alone, curled up with this stack of books. I will cheer on the main character as he defeats the forces of evil and boo the antagonist's attempt to slip through the defensive line. You all enjoy yourselves.