Thursday, February 6, 2014

To-Done List

My mother is a list maker. She's always planned her day down to the minute, carefully crossing off tasks completed.  I apparently did not inherit her organizational skills--I'm more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of person. (Or more likely, "Oh sh*t, was that today?!")  I've always envied her sense of accomplishment and thought maybe I should give it a try.  Seeing all those tasks spelled out quickly became overwhelming, however, so I added some stuff  I'd already done and then crossed them off to make myself feel better. 

Perhaps that's how I should go about my day, marking down all my accomplishments as I go so I feel like I haven't frittered it away.

I give you my "To-Done List."

1.  Made coffee.  This is obviously the most important step of the day, without which nothing else will be done--or if it will, it will be done slowly, with a small headache and a lot of whining.  It's ironic that this crucial activity is done when one is least able to perform tasks.  One morning my automatic coffee maker didn't start and I just stood there, at 5 am in the half-lit kitchen, for what seemed like hours trying to figure it out . (But then non-caffeinated minutes are longer than regular minutes--something about the space/time continuum.) It was a nightmare--which I couldn't wake up from because I had no coffee! 

2.  Annoyed my children.  This is the easiest task of the day, as I need only to speak to them.  It is important to annoy your children every day or they may never move out. They have informed me that I excel at this, which is good as I'm planning a cute little office for myself in one of their bedrooms.   My daughter claims that her friend's mother isn't annoying, but I assured her to her own daughter she is.  It is the natural order of things.

3.  Yoga.  I twisted my body into positions it was not meant to go, and for which I will pay tomorrow.  This is not your yogi's routine of balance and meditation, but Jillian "I Make Fat People Cry" Michaels' Yoga Meltdown.  And yes, I have a occasionally had a melt down after one of these workouts.   (Okay, sometimes I cry.)  She reminds me of a mean little poodle, but she's a mean little poodle with rock hard abs, so I fold myself into camel pose as I curse her under my breath...If I can still breathe.

4.  Pretended that I know how to be an accountant, payroll specialist, human resources representative and an office manager.  Sometimes I succeeded, sometimes not so much.  It's all good--I'm sleeping with the boss. (Okay the boss is my husband-- I'd never be hired for this job if I didn't have connections.)

5.  I whipped something up for dinner.  This is a phrase that my boss/husband likes to use, infering that I can take the year-old frozen chicken nuggets, wilted lettuce and two hamburger buns and create a nutritious and delicious meal for five.  HA.  Every meal choice I offer elicits a groan from two or more children (I only have three, mind you).  But family dinners are essential to a child's self of well-being and their place in the
world, so sit down and please stop making those gagging noises.

6. Made sure my children were in their bedrooms at a decent hour.  Proper rest is important to young bodies (as well as middle-aged ones).  That and I just want to be done being a mom early enough so I have some time to myself.

7. I wrote a silly blog post about my not-so-organized life.

There, look at a ll those accomplishments.  Maybe tomorrow I'll add "End World Hunger" or "Figure Out Where That Weird Smell Is Coming From."