Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Just Wondering

There are so many important topics being discussed these days it's hard to know what really deserves my attention.  What's this about a debt ceiling and how does it affect my back-to-school shopping?  If there really is such a thing as global warming, how come it's only gotten above 80 twice this entire summer?  And most importantly, what happened between J-Lo and Marc Anthony?  All timely topics to be sure, but there are several other things that I can't help wondering about.

What is it with Canadians and outlet malls?  They flock there by the busload (literally), whole multi-generational families browsing through the Nike store.  Perhaps Seattle Premium Outlets (which isn't in Seattle at all) should open a location a little further north (further north than Tulalip, I mean).  And why do they drive so fast?  Perhaps they are in a hurry to get a great deal on a Coach bag, or maybe they have trouble converting kilometers.  Well here's a little friendly tip for my northerly neighbors:  km/h=mph x 1.609344  (don't be afraid to show your work).

Why do people insist on displaying all sorts of inappropriate things on their cars?  I once saw a woman who was waiting to pick up her kindergartner from school with a bumper sticker that made me blush.  Kindergarten is when kids learn to read--what do you suppose she told her child when he asked what it meant?  "Well, Tommy, that means Mommy has the morals of a drug addicted prostitute, but she knows how to read."  And ditto for the decals with the boy peeing on various logos and brand names.  Why does a grown man want the world at large to think of him as a naughty little boy?

Why does my dog eat his own poop?  The vet says I can get a special additive to put in his food to "make it taste bad."  But really, what could you possibly do to it that would make it taste worse than dog poop?

With all the scientific advancements and electronic gadgets available, why is it that the only way to unplug a backed up toilet is a rubber suction cup on a stick?  I'm sure my great grandmother thought the same thing as she plunged away at her Thomas Crapper original.

While these may not be the greatest mysteries of life, I'm afraid they will remain unanswered (by me anyway).  I am not a great philosopher; I prefer to consider myself  a creative thinker.


  1. Oh good--you're back! I was afraid we'd have to wait for the next Lenten season!

  2. No, just a lull in the Summer time activities. Just wait until they go back to school--I'll be harrassing you on a regular basis with my musings.